When facing an infertility diagnosis, the choice can be overwhelming. Get the information you need before you make a decision about Surrogacy VS Adoption.
Making the best choice for you and your family is always the number one concern of any parent. When it comes to building your future, no family is the same. For those looking to expand their family through no traditional methods, hope is just around the corner. However, that corner can sometimes seem really, really far away.
For same-sex couples, single parents, and families struggling with infertility, the choice between adoption and surrogacy can seem insurmountable. While both avenues provide parents options, some are far better than others. Understanding the key differences between surrogacy and adoption can help quiet fears and empower parents to make the best decisions for their future families.
Surrogacy VS Adoption: What is Adoption?
Adoption is the process by which a parent or couple takes legal custody of a child that is not related to them. Circumstances of the child and adoption process will vary for each family. The adoption process may begin during the mother’s pregnancy, or after the child has been born.
Adoption is available throughout all stages of the child’s life, so potential parents may have the ability to adopt a child of any age.
Surrogacy VS Adoption: What is Surrogacy?
Surrogacy is when another woman carries the child for another family. This child is generally genetically linked to intended parents. The surrogate is impregnated via in vitro fertilization, and the baby is born to the intended parents.
Surrogacy VS Adoption: Pros and Cons of Adoption
Pros and cons of adoption can be weighted differently by the values of the intending family. Depending on what it is your particular situation desires, adoption may well be the best choice.
There are many pros to adoption, to include:
- The joy of providing a stable and loving environment to a child in need
- Adoption can be less expensive than surrogacy
- Fewer tests and procedures are required for adoption
- Children can be adopted at any age during development
While adoption is a great option for many families, there are drawbacks for some households.
- Adoption can be difficult for some parents to qualify for
- Emotions can run high for the birth mother, so some adoptions can fall through
- No control over the prenatal environment, or developmental care
- Medical history can be difficult to track down
- Legalizing parentage can be a long and often expensive process.
For some people, the idea of not being able to control how your child is raised or treated prenatally is understandably concerning. It’s also a bit more frequent that the adoptive process can be reversed without warning, should the biological mother change her mind.
Despite the need for a child, and the child needs a home, some adoptive children present with physical and emotional problems that some parents just aren’t ready for, or lack the resources to appropriately deal with. This is something that holds true for many intended parents and should be realistically discussed and considered by the adopting parent(s) before a final decision is made.
The reality of limits and boundaries is something that anyone who struggles with infertility has to face head-on. Often, these realistic personal limitations can get lost against the deep-seated desire to have a family. Limitations exist for all of us, and we shouldn’t feel guilty about recognizing them. It is always okay to ask for help and advice from professionals before making a final decision for your family.
Surrogacy VS Adoption: Pros and Cons of Surrogacy
Surrogacy comes with its own set of pros and cons for surrogates and for families. For many families, surrogacy offers a modicum of control that is difficult to achieve with adoption. Studies have even shown no negative effects associated with the development of surrogate born children.
- More control over the prenatal environment
- Genetic link with the child
- Involvement in choice of the surrogate mother
- Parents can be involved in the pregnancy
- Legally, the child belongs to the intended parents, so the birth mother cannot choose to keep the child.
However, as with adoption, there are some very real limitations and restrictive factors for some parents associated with surrogacy. Laws regarding surrogacy vary greatly the world over. Finding an agency that can work with your familial situation in your budget can often be restrictive for families.
- Surrogacy is often expensive
- Laws can be prohibitive in some counties
- Some procedures can be expensive and without a 100% success rate
Some intended parents don’t want the lengthy and expensive process of surrogacy. From start to finish, surrogacy can be a heavily involved process with many legal, medical, and emotional components. Take time to choose the right agency and clinic for you, as any good surrogacy agency can help to circumnavigate many of these difficult processes.
Making Your Best Choice
When deciding which is the best way forward for you and your family, it’s important to look at all aspects of every procedure. Be open and honest about expectations and boundaries. Unfortunately, there is no one simple solution to infertility issues, but with choice comes hope.
Perhaps the greatest thing about contending with the difficulties of infertility is that there is a caring community that can help you along your journey. If surrogacy is the right choice for your family, mental health professionals and seasoned agencies can ease the many transitions that are involved. Online communities can provide support and guidance from people who have had similar experiences.
Ultimately, you’ll want to get as much information on different options as you can. Find out what suits your situation, what’s best for your family. Luckily, as laws and mindsets evolve, more families than ever are being offered real, viable options for the future of their households.